Drug Testing For Welfare

Many know the stereotypes of recipients of welfare. Those of the "welfare queens" that live off welfare and ultimately end up spending the money on their next fix drug fixes. So the idea of drug testing applicants before supplying them with welfare money seems like a pretty good idea, right? But will this honestly help? Will this reduce the number of recipients using welfare to supply their drug addictions? When considering drug testing applicants one must take into account the costs of this proposal, the truth behind recipients of welfare, and the morals of these recipients.

The idea of drug testing applicants of welfare could potentially lower the rate of drug addicts using welfare to supply their addictions. But on the flip side, it could also cause money issues when it came to the cost of administering the drug test in the first place. In 2009, about four million Americans were on welfare. One drug test costs about 42 dollars. Times that 42 dollars by four million Americans and suddenly you're at a bill of over 168 million dollars! In one year about 191 million dollars was spent of welfare. They budget for welfare would almost double just by adding a seemingly easy application requirement. America is in a recession. We surely don't need to add an extra 168 million dollars on top of the billions of debt money we owe! While considering the cost, also think about the people who receive welfare.

Yes there are stereotypes about poor people. The most prominent one is the drug addict. But how many people receiving welfare checks really are drug addicts looking for their next hit? Truth is, not many. According to studies, when a drug test was administered to applicants of welfare in Florida, almost 98% of applicants passed. So who really receives welfare? Hard working, financially challenged, family bearing Americans. People with families, trying to scrape by, provide for the family, keep a roof over their heads, food on their tables, and often all while being unemployed. When taking this into account, one must also consider the morals of these recipients.

The recipients of welfare are not who you think they are. In fact, they are just like you. Sometimes they are even more emotionally strong and faith bond than most middle and upper class Americans. They hold on to every last thing they can. They do not quit even when things get tough. They rely on the good will of others and their pure faith to keep them in good health, day by day. Coming from a lower middle class family and having experienced just how tough it is to get by with one parent unemployed, I can assure you the recipients of welfare are good, deserving people. When my family was in the worst state, when my mother was unemployed and my father worked two jobs just to keep us afloat, things like heating assistance and the good will of others was the things that made life easier. The idea of either of my parents having to be drug tested to receive help is absolutely mortifying to me. Think about how degrading it is to admit you cannot support a family, then you must face reality that your fellow Americans feel you are a type of social scum and don't trust how you'll spend their money? That feeling must truly feel utterly embarrassing and downright terrible.

Off Shore Drilling

Oil is essential to American life. It gives us control of our lives and helps us function as normal, productive parts of society. But, oil can pose many risks to the United States. Almost everyone can recall the devastation in the Gulf of Mexico because of the recent BP oil spill. So how beneficial would it be to expand off shore drilling? Some executives and congressional supporters believe expanding off shore drilling would be a benefit to the United States. Factors to evaluate when considering the idea of expanding off shore drilling are the many possibilities of accessible oil, the revenue it could create, and the problems it will create for options of green energy.

Off shore drilling could be expanded to the many suspected possibilities of accessible oil. In an article in the New York Times, Ken Salazar who is an interior secretary for a proposed plan to expand off shore drilling, stated that "his proposed offshore lease strategy made available more than 75 percent of undiscovered and technically recoverable oil and gas resources" (New York Times). If there is truly this much undiscovered resources, supporters believe it should be harnessed to the advantage of the United States. The idea of resources coming from the United States is encouraging to taking steps of reducing our dependency on foreign countries for oil.

If the resources are available, so is the possible revenue generated by it. Oil is essential, therefore it will always be generating revenue. The United States sends millions of dollars to foreign countries for oil. If off shore drilling was expanded the United States could reduce the amount we send to foreign governments by $15 million and create 190,000 jobs by 2013. (EnergyTomorrow.org). If this is true, the economy would rise dramatically and become more stable, something many people in the United States want to occur.

If off shore drilling was to expand, the money being invested in green energy could be taken away and focused on oil. Energy is expensive, regardless of where it’s coming from. The United States has always been a leading country that changes the world with its innovations. If we cease to invest in green energy and stopping the use of oil, we will be totally contradicting the image we have sent out for decades to the rest of the world. If we want to stop green house gases from being admitted, then green energy is the way to go. The effects of global warming will not be stopped if we continue to use oil as a source of energy. Green energy is just as effective as using oil, and expanding oil will only hurt the efforts the United States has made in green energy. So is it truly worth it to waste our efforts on something that will reproduce negative effects in the long run?

Our Economic Savior: Dropouts

From a young age students are filled with the ideas that the only road to success is by going to college. Though it is true that having a college degree can land you in a very high earning position working for some big wig corporation, many of the college dropouts are the people who will lift our economy out of recession. Dropouts are the ones to create the small businesses that account for the new jobs America so desperately needs. According to an article recently published in the New York Times by Michael Ellsberg, "people who create jobs aren’t traditional professionals, but start-up entrepreneurs."
An entrepreneur is defined in Merriam-Webster dictionary as, "one who organizes, manages, and assumes the risks of a business or enterprise." Traditional education teaches the exact opposite skills that are needed to be a successful entrepreneur. Many colleges and universities that are often regarded as some of the most top notch schools in the nation offer classes that teach the negatives of sales (which is a highly needed skill as an entrepreneur.) Other skills, including networking and branding yourself are not part of curriculums in many schools. "I knew I had to keep networking, shaking hands and sharing my story at trade shows," says ore-based chip designer Jeri Ellsworth. Entrepreneurs must learn these types of skills quickly to be successful, and many do.
An entrepreneur is a go getter; they spit directly in fear's face and laugh at the very sight of failure. College dropouts make such great entrepreneurs because they do not stop after failure and go back to what they know because all they know currently is failure! A college dropout is deemed a failure once they dropout in the first place. These people are often very stubborn, strong minded, and independent; and when some doubts them they will become determined to prove them wrong.
They also have nothing to go back to if they fail. Someone who has a degree who tries becoming an entrepreneur, if they fail, they assume they have something to fall back on, another career field to return too. College dropouts have nothing. They pour their hearts and souls into their business until they have nothing left to give of them. Some of the most successful people in American history were college dropouts. Mark Zuckerburg, Steve Jobs, Michael Dell, and Bill Gates were all college dropouts. All of these people are great examples of what college dropouts do to help our economy. Never doubt a college dropout; they could one day be your boss!

You're Body: A Clean Slate or a Living Canvas?

About an hour ago I was at a tattoo parlor snapping pictures of my best friend getting her eyebrow pierced. I asked how old they tattoo and the tattoo artist said "18, no exceptions." This got me thinking, why is there an age restriction on tattoos? It’s not a drug or anything harmful. So why does it matter how old you are when you get a tattoo? Some states like Connecticut allow 16 year olds with parental consent to get a tattoo. I then continued on in thinking why is it such a debated subject? I understand some people feel tattoos are unnecessary and you are "vandalizing your body." While others feel your body is your canvas for the artwork you desire.

The facts are equal in power for both sides of this argument. The oppositions of tattooing are you may regret it later, sanitary hazards, and social perceptions. Though all of these points are valid, they are all avoidable. If you regret a tattoo later, get a new one to cover it. Getting a cover-up tattoo is as simple as getting the original. Poor sanitization has often been associated with tattoo parlors, and though for some this is a true problem, with proper research this is easily avoidable. The tattoo parlor my friend just got her piercing done was one of the most impeccably clean places I have ever been in. It was probably cleaner than a hospital operating room.

Social perception is a valid factor to take into consideration. If you feel you will be judged for your tattoo, you could opt for a different place so you could hide it or just not get it at all. Frankly, tattoos are not for everybody. Some people worry too much about how others think and those people are sometimes not cut out for the social judgment that is linked with tattoos. The fact of the matter is that no one can decide how you feel about tattoos for you. It is your own choice whether you embrace them or deny them.

Disney: Corrupting Our Princesses

From a young age, almost every child who's got access to mass media has been exposed to at least one Disney princess. Along with these princesses comes the ever famous, ever repeated plot line; a beautiful defenseless princess, a dangerous situation, a handsome prince who will save her, marriage, and then they live happily ever after. When you ask one of these little girls what they want to be when they grow up, it seems harmless for them to counter with the classic, "a princess." This seems fine and dandy to many parents but honestly, what are the Disney princesses doing to little girls?

Take a look at any Disney princess and one thing is certain, they are all unobtainably beautiful. Cinderella, with her big blue eyes and primped blonde hair (a common stereotype of the 'perfect' American woman.) Jasmine, sporting inhumanly long hair that is never messy, not to mention her ultra skanky outfits that in reality would never be worn by a woman of her ethnicity. Or Ariel, who has a very unrealistic hair color, wears only a shell bra, and has a perfect figure. All these princesses are the image of perfection to little girls. When little girls are brainwashed with images of skinny, perfect princesses, they begin at a very young age to compare how they look to these ideas of perfection.

Not only do princesses teach little girls they need to look perfect, but the actions of these princesses teach little girls unlikely goals and unrealistic morals. The obvious thing is the goal of getting married, that is the only goal in a princess' mind.

Alongside this, the prince must pursue them. They are never to go looking for their prince. This idea of helplessness teachs little girls they cannot be strong, individuals with career-oriented goals. Also some of the most minute teachings of the Disney princesses are the worst. Belle and Ariel are probably the worst princesses for little girls to aspire to be. First off, Belle definitely has undiagnosed Stockholm syndrome. Stockholm syndrome is a disease where you feel no matter what somebody does to you, they will change for the better. Belle believes she can be with a man who abuses her father and locks her away in a castle forever. She freely opens herself up to a stranger who has extreme anger and social issues. Take a look at Ariel and you find she is willing to give up her voice and her entire life to be with a man. Not to mention she is definitely an undiagnosed hoarder. So  by the time they are in school, they have been brainwashed of the ideas of feminity, codependency, and perfection. To be frank, Disney is making little girls into "feminidiots."

All these princesses are teaching little girls they have to live up to the ideals of what Disney feels is a 'perfect' princess. Many people may ask how to avoid these teachings? The truth is you cannot avoid it. Disney is everywhere. Even if you never show them one single Disney movie, by the end of preschool they will most likely know every princess my name. So the best people can do now is try to instill the idea that everyone is beautiful, you already are a princess, and never let anyone tell you otherwise.

Don't Ruffle My Feathers

We ducks are the most temperamental of animals. But I'm not trying to make you perceive us in a fowl manner. We are very proud animals, we enjoy knowing our feathers are slicked, our beaks are held high, and our waddle is of the waddliest kind. Whenever someone tries to test us or question our decisions though, they should be prepared to hear a mouth full, or beak full (same difference.) We ducks do not like to get our feathers ruffled by others. We defend our decisions and stand by our actions. Why do you think so many young humans are constantly being chased by a crazed duck so often?

A Duck of Good Taste

Hello,
My name is Dimetry Duck. I am here to discuss the terrible choices humans make regarding ducks. You see I am a duck of good taste, as most of us are. We enjoy finely baked breads, perfectly aged cheese, and only the finest brands of potato chips. But as I notice more and more people throwing pieces of food to ducks, I cannot help but notice the lack of selection and quality humans are beginning to resort to. You see, though humans do not mind the difference in generic and brand name foods, us ducks do. We have a better sense of taste than humans so we can taste the difference. Feeding ducks store brand bread is just unacceptable. It makes our stomachs growl in protest, we despise it. Sadly, we cannot tell the different till we have it in our mouths. So what I am trying to explain is, if you truly love your neighborhood ducks; do not be cheap. Spoil us, otherwise we may go elsewhere.

A Letter to My Dear Cousin Donald

Dearest Cousin Donald,
How are you? How is the pond? Is everything doing okay? How are your nephews Huey, Dewey, and Louie doing? I hope they're not causing you too much trouble. I hope Daisy is doing well too. I am writing to you to tell you all about the enlightening experience I had. I met a guy on the pond yesterday named Jeffery Swan. He was a life coach. He told me his life story and how when he was young he was denied by his brothers and sisters as a duckling because he was terribly ugly and did not look like them. He eventually left his family behind to pursue his life away from the teasing and taunting. He finally came to terms with his ugliness when he met a man named Stanley Swanson. He was a beautiful swan that told Jeffery that he would one day become like him if he developed a positive outlook on life. Well Stanley was completely correct! Jeffery is a happy beautiful swan today. I am telling you all this because I'd like you to come out to my lake and visit me one day so I can introduce you to Jeffery. I hoped he could fix your negative feelings toward the world. You must admit uncle, you a rather dismal person. Well I hope you will agree to come. I'm sure it is the curer to all your problems! Hope to hear from you soon!

Sincerely,

Dimetry

The Duck Song

I am a duck. It’s quite obvious to see by my duck like exterior. But one thing you must understand is I am a duck full of pride for my heritage. I was recently on YouTube when I stumbled upon a song called "The Duck Song." It was all about a duck that constantly approaches a lemonade stand asking for grapes but denying the lemonade. When the lemonade stand finally brings him to get some grapes, then all he wants is lemonade. I am a bit outraged by this song and I will tell you why. This song is discriminatory to ducks. We ducks are rather intelligent creatures, though humans seem to perceive us as stupid animals. The duck in this song is extremely dumb. First he's asking for grapes at a lemonade stand, seriously? Obviously it’s a lemonade stand. Also, most duck's hate grapes. It's just a proven fact, I never understood why. But one thing we like is lemonade! So these humans have it all backwards, first they think we're stupid, and then they think we like grapes, and then they think we hate lemonade! Frankly I feel humans need to do their research thoroughly before making up stories about us ducks.

SPED Does Not Mean Stupid

I have a little sister. She is ten years old and I love her to death. A few years back we all notice her grades started to decline and she began to struggle with homework. My parents went to her school and met with her teachers and they all made a group decision that my sister needed an I.E.P. (individualized Education Plan.) She was then evaluated with a multitude of tests and they pin-pointed the subjects that give her the toughest time. Now she is in fifth grade. Each day she is pulled out of her regular class during the times they have Language Arts and Math. She is brought to a classroom and is taught at a pace that is better suited for her. She's enrolled in Special Education classes.

At first she was fine at the thought of getting help in these subjects. She just thought of it as no big deal. But after her classmates found out she was in Special Education, that outlook on the whole situation rapidly turned south. Every day she came home and fought my parents on it. She constantly argued that she did not need to be there. She wanted to go back to the normal classroom and learn at the same speed as the other kids.

For a while I did not understand why she was suddenly fighting it. Till one day she came home and told my mom that someone called her stupid. Some obnoxious kid in her class told her she was stupid because she was in SPED classes. Of course this broke all of our hearts to hear this. I was outraged. Who does this kid think he is, making fun of my little sister?

I didn't understand why someone would make fun of someone for their style of learning. Then I thought back to when I was ten years old. First off, I had terrible sense of style and obviously no notion of what hair products were, but I remembered my best friend Sarah. There was a boy who made fun of her every time she got pulled out of class for Special Education classes. Of course kids are sometimes cruel and heartlessly mean to one another, but I wondered why it happened to Sarah as it did to my sister?

I thought about how I felt about Sarah when I was ten. I remember that I thought she was cooler than me, and I remember that I thought she was more outspoken than me. But one thing I don't remember is ever thinking she was smarter than me. Now that I think about it, I didn't think any of my friends in Special Education were smarter than me. In fact, I thought I was a lot smarter than them.

So reflecting now, why did I, like so many others, equate Special Education to stupidity? Now that I'm older I know the kids there learn the exact same things as average level students, just a little slower. In reality, kids in those classes could actually be smarter than me or any other student. I feel like students should know that no matter what level of learning you're at, you all learn the same material. I didn't know that in fifth grade. I didn't know that till freshman year of high school! If students were aware of this, maybe they would be less cruel to their classmates? Maybe, just maybe, judgment wouldn't be passed so quickly on these kids?

Too Fat to Workout?

If you take a look at American people, many of us are overweight or obese. People of a healthier size look at the bigger people and often have feelings of disgust and disappointment. I, being of these 'bigger' people have had my share of humiliation because of my size. Once when I was younger I had a boy who always called me a 'fat pig.'  Once a sales woman at a store saw me looking at a clothes rack and told me this store didn't carry plus sized clothes and maybe I should try a different store. Comments like these, though some people believe make people think about their weight and change, actually have a negative impact on overweight people, especially children and teens.

Overeating is not a choice. Well it is at first. At first you just do it because it feels good. You feel like food can't hurt you, it's your friend. Then it somewhat over takes your life. When you're happy, celebrate with food. When you're sad, eat some food. When you're bored, have a snack. It’s no big deal. But just like any addiction it's a huge deal. Drugs like alcohol, cocaine, marijuana, etc. have the same impact on people as overeating. Why do people do these things? Because it makes you feel good.

So what would you say about someone trying to change themselves? On a personal note, I have devoted myself to changing myself not to please others and fit the status queue, but rather better my health and feel good about how I look. To do this I've been changing my eating habits, cutting my portions, and a newly added key thing; working out. Yes, I got a gym membership.

You would think the sight of a plus sized girl working out at a gym would be inspiring? But instead I often get looks from other, and thinner, people in the gym. They look at me as if I'm some kind of sad excuse of a person. I once heard someone laugh at me while I was doing weight training. So what I'm still perplexed by is, why do thinner people in gyms feel they are better than bigger people? These people need to have a reality check because in retrospect I'm doing more work because I'm trying to change myself. They're just trying to keep themselves the same. Even the owners of the gym watched me for awhile when I first joined and attempted to baby me. They treated me like I had never worked out in my life.

 I know it's sometimes hard to wrap your mind around the thought that everyone of a category of people is not the same, but that's the truth. Stereotyping people is a terrible thing to do. Assuming every overweight person is a fat lump of lards that smooshes themselves between the arm of the couch and a pound of food all day is far from the truth.  It would be like assuming every girl likes frilly girly dresses or every American dad wears a suit to work and carries a briefcase.

The Ever Changing Gnomes

There is a type of gnome that many people don't know about. That is because they are constantly changing. They are like chameleons. They change to fit their surroundings so you don't notice them. If one is in a very cold and snowy place, then they will be white and bundled up in snow coats and snow boats. If they are living in a very hot and beach-like environment, then they may have on a Hawaiian shirt and flip-flops on. This specific breed of gnomes is one of the most common types of gnomes. The reason no humans notice them is simply because, to humans, a gnome is a gnome. But in fact gnomes come in many different sizes and colors. Just like humans.

Gnomes Love Root Beer

Did you know the gnomes love root beer? Neither did I, till I started noticing my root beer disappearing from my refrigerator at a rapid pace. I wondered if someone in my family had suddenly developed an intense hankering for root beer, but I hadn't seen anyone drinking root beer lately. I watched the root beer bottle slowly decrease in volume for days in confusion. Who was drinking all this root beer? My question was answered when one night as I quietly descended the stairs to my kitchen for a bottle of water, I opened the fridge and found Mr. Gnome on the top shelf drinking the root beer! He looked at me with a wide eyed stare and then suddenly jumped down from the shelf and scuttled away. I guess it’s just a fact that gnomes love root beer.

St. Gnomey's Day

 In United States culture we celebrate many different days dedicated to Saints. St. Patrick's Day, Valentine's Day, etc. In gnome culture the most celebrated Saint is St. Gnomey. St. Gnomey is most well known for saving countless gnomes from the terror of dogs. St. Gnomey created the most ingenious potion that every gnome coats themselves in to protect them from dogs. Before St. Gnomey, dogs would snatch gnomes up and use them as chew toys. Now, the taste of the magic potion is absolutely retched to dogs. On St. Gnomey's Day, all the gnomes of the village gather together and celebrate in the grandest way. They have an eccentric feast of garden vegetables, fruits, herbs, and the most delicious dish in gnome culture, slow cooked grubs. They feast all day and dance all night to the music played on classic gnome instruments like the Fiddlehooper, Cardumker, and Serrentween. They celebrate for days in honor of St. Gnomey, the great savior of all gnomes.

The Mysterious Clicky Thing

Hello there! My name is Gregory Theodore Fredrickson Wesley Alexander Ragsdale Gnome the Third. But many people call me Mr. Gnome. I, Mr. Gnome decided to take it upon myself to adventure down from my perch in this messy bedroom and see what I could find. I travelled out of the very pink room and wandered down the stairs. There I found myself a room with the most hideously yellow shag carpet. While exploring down there I found the most majestic mystery I have ever stumbled upon! It was a black thing with many buttons. When I pressed the large red button, a large black box suddenly lit up with the sound of a click! I was amazed! I had never seen such a thing! I proceeded to press more buttons and found that the buttons made the picture of the black box change! Not only that, but the picture moved and talked, as if real people were inside the box! I enjoyed my afternoon playing with the mysterious clicky thing watching the black box change until the people came home and I went back to my perch. It was a marvelous afternoon.

iGnome.com

Did you know gnomes are very technologic creatures? They love to send tweets, write statuses, and even blog on Tumblr. But with all this technology at their little ceramic fingertips, who would have ever thought they'd get bored so fast? In fact, gnomes have very small attention spans. That is why you often will put a gnome in one spot of your yard, and it will end up in another spot all together. It is simply because they get bored quite easily. So in order to escape their boredom from Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, and Tumblr; they created a new social website only for gnomes. It’s called ignome.com. It is a place for gnomes to do whatever their little heart’s desire. They can chat, they can vlog, they can play games, they can do research on any out-of-the-box topic, look at funny pictures of animals, or whatever else gnomes do. It is similar to if Google, social networking, and YouTube had some kind of internet-hybrid-child and named it ignome.com. I tried to enter the website, but I was denied access due to the simple fact that I am not a gnome.

A Magic Satchel

I noticed that this gnome has a black satchel. I wonder what he carries in this satchel. There are so many possibilities that could be that mysterious bag. There could be magical dust from his pixie friends that flutter around dreams of small children. He could be carrying tools crafted by the profoundly skilled hands of the trolls lurking in the highest peaks of the mountain tops. Maybe he's got the most precious gems found in the deepest of all the mines, they shine in a miraculous way when exposed to sunlight. Could he be carrying magic seeds that grow healing plants that will settle an upset stomach or heal a broken bone? Perhaps all he is really carrying is the memories of places and people come and gone? I suppose his bag will forever remain a bag of secrets to human eyes.

How Old is Too Old?

One thing in our culture that is a very hot topic is age differences in relationships. So the question that occurs with so many couples often ask is, how old is too old? There is so many crazy equations out in the world for calculating how much of an age gap should be in a relationship. But in reality, it's up to the discretion of the couple to decide this. Of course, there are many questions you can consider before coming upon your own answer.

First off you have to consider, how uncomfortable you may feel being the younger or older person in the relationship? Sometimes people have a hard time dating someone older or younger. Often partners cannot look past the age difference and end up viewing their significant other as higher or lower in authority.

That's another question you need to think about. Will there be a higher power in the relationship? Sometimes the older person in the relationship may unintentionally look down upon the other and end up controlling the relationship. For some people this is an okay situation. But for some people, the power must be shared or only slightly different.

Something else to consider is maturity. Age differences can bring about different levels of maturity. It's safe to assume someone who is twenty-five is going to be much more mature than someone who is sixteen. So you have to consider how well you can relate to your partner. If you find your partner's level of maturity does not mesh well with yours, then you might want to reevaluate your relationship.

You must also consider how society will view your relationship, and do you care? For some society can pound sand. For many others, the judgment that may be passed upon them is a big factor in the age gaps in their relationships. Go back in history and you will see at one point it was deemed socially acceptable to have large age differences in relationships. In fact, it almost seemed odd to marry someone of your age. Now it’s quite the opposite. So you have to think, do I want to be criticized about this? If you don't, great. If you do, then maybe you shouldn't date someone older or younger than you. The jist of it is, no one can decide if your relationship should have an age gap except for you. You have to decide for yourself, how old is too old?

The American Dream: Rushing at Three in the Morning and Neglecting Your Family Life?

Imagine if you woke up each day and instead of your family saying good morning you received a text. "Good Morning Hunny. There are pancakes in the freezer for you for breakfast. I hope you slept well. See you tonight!" Well the truth is this is actually the case for so many Americans. The fact of the matter is America has gotten so busy. If you went back to say, the 1950's a typical weekday started off at about seven o'clock with the father drinking a cup of coffee reading the morning paper while the mother made pancakes or omelets and the children waiting anxiously for their breakfast. Come back to 2011 and look at a typical family. Everyone is usually awake around five or six o'clock. The parents are usually gone off to work or rushing out the door by the time their children wake up. Breakfast consists of pop tarts or cereal. So why is there such a difference? Well like I said earlier, America has become far too busy.
What has caused this? The answer is quite simple, our ability to access information and each other and every waking hour. No matter the time of day, you can get some kind of information on someone via Facebook. Our access to multitudes of information on the internet has caused an intense craving for productivity. It's far too easy to complete a project now in a few hours that would take a few days or weeks in the 1950's or 60's. Therefore people cannot grasp the concept that others are not like information and can't be, nor should be accessed at any time of day.
A typical work day used to start at about eight or nine o'clock. Now it can start as early as three or four. People need to take a serious look at their priorities and understand that family life and personal care is far more important than pleasing your boss at all hours of the night. If an employer feels the need to exhaust you and use you for every possible thing, they may need to evaluate their lives as well.

Gnomes Have Feelings Too

I feel bad for gnomes. They are left outside to bear the harsh weather we face from inside of our warm and cozy homes. The snowy winters, the rainy springs, the windy falls. They are often forgotten about too. They are put outside in a garden or on a lawn as a decoration and then soon forgotten about. How often do you think about the little man on in your front yard? I think gnomes get lonely out there, all alone. Though their exterior is hard and sturdy, I think their inside is soft and mushy and full of emotion and pain.

Where Do Gnomes Come From?

Today I looked at my little gnome and wondered where he came from? Where was his home? Does he have family there? Do they miss him? I knew Mr. Gnome could not answer me directly so I decided to use the best tool available for inquiring answers to odd questions, Google! Well first I found out while searching that gnomes live underground and prefer fertile ground. Hence why they are commonly found in gardens. Their name comes from "genomos" which is Latin for "earth-dweller." The first known gnomes were found in the work of a Swiss man named Paracelsus sometime in the 16th century. He used gnomes as another word for pygmies which are another mythical creature that represents the four elements. So in all technicalities I suppose gnomes are from Switzerland. But since there is no definite answer as to where gnomes are from, I'm just going to say gnomes are from the imagination; because that is where everything usual and mystical begins.

Fin-Gnomely Day At Work

Today the gnome travelled to work with me afterschool without telling me. He climbed into my work bag and spent the day there. He was hoping to take a great adventure throughout the halls of my school, but found that my work bag is enclosed in my locker the entire day. The afternoon came around and he was lifted into the air and hoisted on my shoulder. We rode the bus all the way to Ace Hardware. While I was putting my headset on, he slipped out of my bag and proceeded on an adventure. He travelled around the plumbing and slide down tubing like a fire pole. He dumped out our buckets of nails and screws when he tried scaling the side of them. He dared to venture near the dreaded mouse trap display, managing only to set one off. He constructed a castle of paint cans, and confused the heck of out a floor worker named Butch when he got the joy of cleaning it up. The gnome wandered throughout our store for an entire five hours. He began to grow tired at eight o'clock, so he stumbled into my bag just before I picked it up and headed home.

I Wonder What He'd Say...

As I sit and examine this gnome I have, I am immediately drawn to the question mark on his hat. It is big and bold, as to send a giant question to the world. His strange hat makes you think of all the questions this gnome could answer if he was asked. Who are you? Where are you going? Why do you not look directly at me? There are just so many questions that this tight lipped little gnome could answer. He is a contradition all together. He is quiet and to himself, yet he speaks loudly with his question mark hat.  I wonder why this gnome is alone. He looks like a cheerful fellow, yet his eyes do not look directly at you when he faces you. Is this to suggest his social discomfort? Or is he sad and does not want to show it? This little gnome seems so simple, yet he is so complex. He holds many secrets and many adventures he does not share. He is a silent informant, always seeing; yet never speaking. Holding it all in like a sponge. He is a brave hearted little adventurer, yet a bashful fellow. I wonder what he'd say to me if he could speak?

"Attention Passengers We Are Experiencing Turbulance Due to Sagging Pants"

I was on Yahoo poking around looking for something interesting that has happened lately to write another response too when I stumbled upon one article I found humorous, confusing, and a bit flabbergasting. The article was titled "Green Day Singer: Sagging Pants Cost Airline Seat." Reading this as a teenager who lives around too many people with their underwear hanging out, I had to read on. The article states that the lead singing of the band Green Day, Billie Jo Armstrong, boarded an Oakland-to-Burbank flight when a flight attendant approached him and asked him to pull his pants up higher. When he told her he was just trying to get to his seat, he and a companion were tossed off the flight.
So I obviously found this somewhat entertaining. I mean, who wouldn't? Some guy gets thrown off a plane for having his pants too low? Too Funny. But then I got thinking and realized, isn’t this violation of freedom of speech? Though many people detest the sagging pants look, it is a symbol of a culture and a generation. As much as I don't like to admit it, when we're forty or fifty and our kids are watching "I Love 2010" on MTV or VH1 one topic that people will definitely remember from our teenage years will be the sagging pants trend. So why does the Airline have the right to throw this guy off their planes because they don't like how he looks? I wonder if a cross dresser would get thrown off for not wearing male clothing or if a woman with multiple piercings would get thrown off for wearing an insanely large amount of body jewelry?
Though they could suggest showing your underwear is deemed inappropriate, I could easily counter that opinion with the fact that some people think showing your midriff or showing too much of your legs is inappropriate. The airline company has no right to throw Billie Joe off the flight. If this is allowed to slide without any consequences, what will happen next? Will woman have to wear floor length skirts and turtle necks on airplanes? Will men have to wear a professional suit every flight? They truth of the matter is, the only one who could tell Billie Joe he can't be in public with his pants so low is himself. Only he can decide what is appropriate for himself to wear, not a flight attendant.

Here is the link to the article if anyone is interested: http://news.yahoo.com/green-day-singer-sagging-pants-cost-airline-seat-000002019.html

Check One: Male, Female...Other?

If you've ever typed a celebrity's name into Google, you can bet some ridiculous story about them will pop up. It is your choice whether you believe what you read or not. But one rumor that almost everyone has heard before is the rumor that Lady Gaga is a hermaphrodite. Though Lady Gaga puts herself in the spotlight freely, why do people assume because she is a celebrity, they have the right to know EVERYTHING about her? Right down to the kind of junk she carries around in her diamond encrusted panties? This is a question I cannot answer. But this got me thinking, how common is it to be a hermaphrodite? First off, what's a hermaphrodite? Dictionary.com defines a hermaphrodite as an organism having both male and female reproductive organs. So basically a hermaphrodite is nor male, nor female. So what gender are they? Well they are transgender; they are another kind of gender. But how could this be? There are only two types of genders. Well my dear reader that is where your poor media brainwashed mind is wrong. See media controls a large portion of our lives. In media, we are only shown two genders from the time we are very small, male and female. You are never shown a hermaphrodite character on your favorite cartoon or reality show. Hermaphrodites have a tough time in life, and so do they're parents. See when a family has a hermaphrodite, they are strongly encouraged to get their child surgically changed into a desired gender. This gets tricky because then what if the family decides to make them a female but their hormones make them more male? And when you fill out papers and you have to check off your gender, what do you check? These are some of the many questions hermaphrodites have to face that many people don't even think about.  So now you're thinking, how many hermaphrodites do I know? Well, about 2% of all the babies born in the world each year are hermaphrodites. So how does this relate to the people I know? let me put it in numbers you can understand. Think about how many red headed people you know. There's probably one in a class you take, you may work with one, or heck maybe you are one! Well, research says the number of red headed people you know is very close to the number of hermaphrodites you know. You see, you live in a world with more than two genders. Society needs to break out of media's grasp and realize that things are not always what they seem.

Lactose Intolerant

Being lactose intolerant is a fairly common thing amongst humans. People work around it and either take medicine to be able to eat milk products or just avoid them all together. But what do animals do if they are? Is it even possible for other animals besides humans to be lactose intolerant? The thought of a cow being lactose intolerant is more than a bit ironic, but could it happen? Animals rely on the milk from their mothers to survive as babies. So I suppose it couldn't happen, but then again human babies are technically supposed to only be able to live off their mother's milk. But humans have the option of using formula for babies. So I guess my question is what would a cow do? Would they just suffer with the pain of being lactose intolerant until they can live on grass? Or would they just die?

Maybelle the Alien?

Have you ever heard that legend about cows being abducted by aliens? Well truth be told, the aliens are cows as well. Imagine a land where the green pastures roll on for miles and miles, full of an endless supply of sweet grass. Then suddenly one day an evil race of enemy aliens came and burned the planet to the ground; leaving nothing but charred, empty pastures and an almost completely wiped out food supply. Now these alien cows are planting their spies on other worlds to look for food for their people. One of these cows was Maybelle. Maybelle was dropped somewhere in New Hampshire. She continued her search by migrating down to Massachusetts. Maybelle frequently reports back to the mother ship. Often at night she is swooped up into the mother ship to report to her superiors. Her search continues alongside her comrades in the hopes of moving toward the Midwest of the United States. Reports from other cows have said there are supple fields of grazing land there. Maybelle's entire race depends on her and her fellow cows to find food for them to flourish as a species entirely.

'Moo Cows' and 'Moke'

Everyone has a small child they know of. It could be your own child, your younger siblings, cousins, your friends family, anyone. But regardless of the person we all have come into contact with a baby or toddler in our lives. That being said, many people have heard how they speak. Their vocabulary consists widely of words they made up or mispronounced. Though it is baby talk to most, I find it clever. Babies and toddlers often rely on the sound or color they can relate the object in question too. Us as grown people rely on the words someone else has set for our language, but children can make up their own words on a limb and are content with calling it as is. I, for example, have a younger sister. We are six years apart, just enough for me to remember when she was a baby. If she was a baby now, she would have called my little toy cow here a 'moocow' or sometimes the occasional 'moomoo'. She referred to them as 'moo cows' until she was around six or seven. I have been told when I was a baby, whenever I wanted a bottle of milk I would ask for 'moke'. Babies rely on what they already know to make up the words for things they don't.

Where Do Cows Go?

Where do cows go when the winter rears its ugly head?
When snowflakes trickle down like small crystals of white,
Where do cows go if the grass turns color?
Changes to the ugly brown during winter,
Where do cows go when the thunder rolls in?
Do they hid under their beds like small children in dinosaur pajamas?
Where do cows go to gossip like old woman?
Do they do it at some kind of cattle salon where you get your hooves painted?
Where do cows go when life turns over a cold stone?
When the lights turn off in their eyes and the drumming in their chest ceases,
Where do cows go when God summons their soul?
When they float away from their pastures and from the heard?
Are they ever again spoken of, or heard?
I tend to wonder where all the cows go.

Milk Me Not

Maybelle sat quietly on the kitchen table, watching, waiting, and listening. She stood perfectly still as the giants meandered around her. They shuffled the papers around and went about in a loud, boisterous manner. Maybelle found it repulsive. These giants did not understand the peaceful manner cows go about their lives. Maybelle watched as the smallest of the giants opened a large white door to reveal a glorious heaven of food inside. Maybelle wanted to jump down from the table and go straight for the green leaves contained in some kind of clear box. The giant pulled out a white container and poured the creamy liquid into a tall glass. Maybelle was horrified. This giant was pouring milk into that glass! Cow Milk! She knew what she had to do. She quietly waited till all the giants were gone and the lights were cut out. She carefully scaled the table leg and trotted over to the bottom of the humongous white door. She pulled and pulled but had no luck opening the door. Suddenly a human came clambering down the stairs and opened the door to retrieve a water bottle. Maybelle slipped inside before it shut the door. She climbed up the shelves careful not to knock over food till she found the milk. She was not letting these terrible giants savor the milk of such peaceful animals such as cows. She pushed it forward off the shelf and as it fell the door fell open with it. The milk landed on the kitchen floor with a giant splat. The container made quite the mess when it made contact with the floor. Maybelle's job was complete.

Maybelle the Cow

Maybelle is a cow. Though you may think she is of the ordinary sorts, you my friend would be terribly mistakened. You see, Maybelle is a special cow. She does extraordinary things when people are away. She defies the odds and goes on great adventures for the well being of all the toys of the house. She can jump from great heights, climb up vertical walls, sneak into the smallest of spaces, and she can even make you think she isn't alive with her extraordinary ability to stand perfectly still. Her greatest of stories will blow your mind and make your spine tingle with anticipation as to what she will do next! Stay tuned for her latest and greatest adventures through the Locklin household as she protects the toys from the evil things lurking in their reality!